Break the [wounds + unawareness] cycle and guard your descendents
	INDEX of PROJECT-4 ARTICLES Co-parents form realistic role  and relationship expectations Guidebook for Projects 1-7

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Project 4: (a) Learn and tailor stepfamily realities and implications, (b) form realistic role and relationship expectations, and (c) teach these to important others (like your kids). Ideally, start this project during courtship, and continue it if you co-commit and/or cohabit. Progress on Project 3 is required to achieve these.

        Why? Because typical stepfamilies differ from traditional (intact bio) families in over 60 ways - which  means that many biological-family relationship and role expectations don't apply. Unrealistic expectations stress individual adults and kids and most stepfamily relationships - specially between mates.

Options:

• Test your present stepfamily knowledge, and...

• Gain an overview of stepfamily facts and realities by viewing this "Stepfamily 101" slide presentation or following the other links; Then...

• alert others to the presentation (www.sfhelp.org/03/sf_slides.htm); and/or educate others by tailoring this free, modular re/marriage-preparation course to help with Project 4.

Article # and title:

  4-1)  Project 4 Overview

Review:

•  the five hazards typical stepfamily members face;

• this link-index of Project 3. Knowledge of these topics is needed for Project 4

• this example of a real nuclear stepfamily whose co-parents had unrealistic expectations 

• these questions co-parents should ask (with answers and links to more information).

• the three levels of typical stepfamily problems;

• a sketch of typical step-people before re/wedding (two pages)

• how common stepfamily development paths and outcomes compare to intact-biofamily paths.

• How average multi-home stepfamilies are like intact biofamilies

• 33 structural ways stepfamilies differ from intact biofamilies

• 30 adjustment-tasks typical stepfamilies face that average intact biofamilies don't

4-2)  A quiz on basic stepfamily knowledge (with links to the answers)

4-3)  60 Common myths:  what's normal in a multi-home stepfamily?

4-4)  Worksheet: Common stepfamily expectations 1-30 (of 60)

4-5)  Worksheet: Common stepfamily expectations 31-60

4-6)  Stepfamily realities 1-10 (of 60)

4-7)  Stepfamily realities 11-21

4-8)  Stepfamily realities 22-31

4-9)  Stepfamily realities 32-39

4-10)  Stepfamily realities 40-60

Review these link-menus of basic stepfamily, re/marital, and co-parenting topics

Preview 16 sets of "things" typical  new stepfamily members must merge and stabilize

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Updated  October 22, 2008