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This is one of over 150 articles focused on building
family relationships and
preventing
divorce. This
introduction describes the Web site's purpose and the best ways to use
its resources. Each article is part of a
mosaic of
ideas, so the more you read, the more sense they'll all make. These articles
augment, vs. replace, other
professional help.
Before continuing, reflect why are you reading this -
what do you
What is Project 6?
Ideally in courtship, mates and other family adults...
-
agree on who comprises ("belongs to") your
family,
-
get clear on (a) your family's
developmental stages over one or two
generations, and (b) the traits of a
high-nurturance ("functional") family. Then...
-
Discuss (a) the {wounds + unawareness]
that may stress your family and descendents, and (b) these related four
or five
Then
use these to...
-
discuss, draft, and maintain
your family's long-term mission
or
and...
-
use it as teammates to...
-
Periodically review and update your
statement to adapt to changes in your family system and the social and
physical environment
Why
Make and Use a Family Mission
Statement?
Families have existed across all ages and eras because they are the most
effective social group for nurturing - i.e. for filling their
members'
All
range from very low-nurturance
to very
("functional"), depending on how well they fill everyone's
developmental and special needs across their developmental cycle.
The extent of American social problems - including rampant
divorce - suggests that most American families aren't
nurturing their members very well. I
propose that one reason for this is typical family adults have only vague
ideas of what they're trying to do, long term, and how they're going to do
it.
Lower-nurturance families tend to produce young adults whose short and
long-term goal is to survive, not develop and use their unique potential. Their adults seldom make or
use a family mission or vision statement to guide them.
The wry title of David Campbell's career-guidance book applies just as well
to family adults: "If
You Don't Know Where You Want to Go, You'll Probably End Up Somewhere Else."
|
Premise - typical adults have a far better chance of adapting to
personal and environmental changes and enjoying old-age contentment if they
make and
use a long-range description of what they're trying to DO with their
family. Not doing so is liked putting your adults and kids on an ocean-going
vessel with no rudder, keel, compass, or maps, and leaving port toward an
unknown destination. |
Typical
and
are significantly more complex than average intact biofamilies. They
have more
to grieve, more adjustment tasks to
master, and higher chances for significant
and "dysfunction" across the years. They are specially in
need of a thoughtful family mission or vision statement to guide them
all through their many challenges and
Reality check
can you name any family that uses a
clear, thoughtful
Does
your family have and use one?
Options
Invest
in the guidebook
for co-parent
It
integrates the key Web pages and worksheets for each of these Projects,
including the articles below.
The book is for courting and committed
co-parents and their supporters. Most of the contents apply to
any
couple and their families.
Print, read, and discuss the
articles
below with key family members and supporters, and/or refer them to this Web
site (sfhelp.org).
