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Summary of Module Goals and Outlines, and Download Links:
A content
outline of all eight modules
(non-compressed files):
outline-8.doc
(231 kb); or
outline-8.pdf
(104 kb); 3 pages;
LEADER'S GUIDE -
Read this 30-page document
first. It describes:
-
The
background and purpose of this series of educational modules,
-
Who
this course is designed for,
-
The
author's background,
-
Course
advertising suggestions,
-
Summaries
of each module's topics, visual-aids, and handouts; and...
-
Experience-based suggestions for effective session
leadership.
Download
sfprep-leader-doc.exe
(138 kb)
or
sfprep-leader-pdf.exe (372
kb)
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MODULE 1) - Seminar introduction -
for all couples (~30" to 45")
Goals:
Welcome and orient participants to the seminar, this meeting’s
agenda, the leader/s, and each other;
Invite
participants to identify and share what they came for;
Summarize
five widespread partnership
and
up to
that courting couples can do to make three
wise commitment
Set
the tone for the seminar; and…
Motivate participants to learn and
do the seven preparation Projects together.
Download
sfprep1-intro-doc.exe
(101 kb) or
sfprep1-intro-pdf.exe
(348 kb); 21 pp.
MODULE
2) - Introduction to inner-wound recovery
- for all adults and couples
(45" to
60" or more.)
Goals:
Introduce
the concepts of nurturance,
families,
and
from six common psychological
Highlight
key
of these concepts for courting co-parents and their
ex mates and kids;
Motivate participants to...
-
learn
more about these concepts, and then
to...
-
for significant false-self
dominance
– i.e. motivate them to do the first
Doing
so protects them against the first of the five family hazards.
Download
sfprep2-wounds-doc.exe
(128 kb) or
sfprep2-wounds-pdf.exe (404 kb); 35 pp;
MODULE
3) Introduction to effective communication skills
This module is appropriate for all adults and
couples, and should take 45" to 75" or more. These skills
are essential for resolving stressful family
asset, and
conflicts
and associated
Goals:
Outline:
communication
basics, including
and
seven
communication
and how
false-self dominance (Module 2) significantly degrades communication
effectiveness;
Show
why these communication basics and skills are essential for building
mutually-satisfying (high-nurturance) family
relationships; and…
Motivate participants to learn
more about these concepts; help each other use them in their
relationships; and teach the concepts to their kids – i.e.
motivate couples to begin co-parent Project 2
before they
decide to co-commit.
Download
sfprep3-ecx-doc.exe
(82 kb) or sfprep3-ecx-pdf.exe
(308 kb); 19 pp;
MODULE
4) - Overview bonds, losses, three-level grieving, and incomplete grief
- appropriate for all
adults and couples - 45" to 60" or more.
Goals:
Introduce
the concepts of:
-
genuine and pseudo
and the inability to bond (Module 2);
-
emotional/spiritual
(broken bonds);
-
normal three-level
(mental + emotional + spiritual)
-
common
of
incomplete grief;
-
common
implications of blocked
grief;
-
options for
facilitating healthy mourning; and...
-
how
(Module 2)
can slow or block healthy
grief.
Teach
participants
why educating family members (specially kids) and applying these concepts is essential
for high-nurturance relationships; and...
Motivate participants to
(a) learn more
about these concepts and (b) help each other check for incomplete grief
in the people they care about - i.e. motivate couples to begin
before they decide whether to
exchange lifetime commitment vows.
Download
sfprep4-grief-doc.exe
(87 kb) or
sfprep4-grief-pdf.exe
(332 kb); 22 pp.
MODULE 5) What co-parents need to know about stepfamilies. An overview
to of how typical stepfamilies differ from traditional intact
biofamilies, and what these differences usually mean. For courting
partners who have one or more kids from prior unions - (45" to 90"
or more.)
Goals:
Raise couples’ awareness
of…
-
what a stepfamily
is,
-
the
and ~30 structural
differences between
traditional intact biofamilies and multi-home stepfamilies, and…
-
the ~30 unique
-adjustment
tasks that typical co-parents
and kids face after parental re/marriage. From these, become aware
of...
-
how complex stepfamilies are, and how that raises their
risk of re/divorce
Introduce
the concept of an extended-stepfamily
or family
map, and suggest how to use it.
Motivate participants to build their
(Module 3) to
resolve probable conflicts over stepfamily identity, membership,
values, loyalties, names and titles, and up to 30 extended-stepfamily
Encourage
participants to accept their stepfamily
and to decide who
to their stepfamily, starting with their ex mates.
Build
participants’ motivation to do the
co-parent projects
honestly (ref. module 6), before they decide to co-commit.
Download
sfprep5-sf_intro-doc.exe
(247kb), or
sfprep5-sf_intro-pdf.exe
(724 kb); 26 pp.
MODULE
6) Draft a stepfamily
and use it to draft co-parent
responsibilities ("job descriptions"). This is essential,
because there are
co-parents,
trying to help several kids fill over
50 concurrent needs, while the adults try
to master ~30 stepfamily merger tasks at the same time.
Goals:
raise couples’
awareness of…
What
a family mission statement is,
The
60+ developmental and special
family-adjustment needs typical
stepkids need informed co-parent help in filling.
What
a “co-parent
” is, and how it relates to
the mission statement; and…
Why
partners’ drafting these two things before deciding to re/wed
significantly helps them choose the right people, for the
right reasons, at the right time.
Personal
mission statements, as a basis for couples evolving a stepfamily
mission statement. Motivate partners to live their lives on purpose
- i.e. with a long-range vision and goals in mind.
Clarify the concept
of a
family (ref. Module 2 –
inner-wound recovery),
and point to a checklist for assessing the nurturance level of any group
or relationship;
Explain co-parent
and
encourage partners to do the
courtship
Projects honestly (module
7), before they decide to vow their commitments.
Download
sfprep6-mission-doc.exe
(103 kb), or
sfprep6-mission-pdf.exe
(340 kb) - 21 pp.
MODULE 7)
- Six key pre-re/wedding questions, and seminar recap. These
questions protect stepfamily-aware co-parents against impulsively
committing to the wrong
for the wrong
at the
wrong
Answering them honestly is co-parent
For all courting couples, with and without kids from prior unions. (45" - 60"
or more.)
Goals:
Review the five
interrelated
for epidemic American re/divorce, and
emphasize
partners' high risk of making three
unwise remarital choices
despite their
love, commitment, and
Summarize all
12
co-parent Projects, emphasizing the first seven;
Reframe the seven
courtship projects into three keys for relationship
and
co-parenting success (learn, assess, and act);
Hilight relevant
re/marriage an co-parenting resources;
Provide
couples with a worksheet to help them answer six complex
and...
Provide closure to
the course, leaving participants with clear goals and a can-do attitude about their re/marriage-preparation projects.
Download
sfprep7-recap-doc.exe (182
kb), or
sfprep7-recap-pdf.exe
(520 kb); 40 pp.
MODULE 8) A five-part group role-play. This leader-directed,
semi-structured role-play helps 12 or more people experience some
aspects of transitioning from an intact biofamily to a new stepfamily
(~3 hours). The
module can (a) stand alone, or be used (b) before or after
Module 5 (stepfamily
introduction), or (c)
after Module 7 (re/wedding decision, and course recap).
Download
sf-roleplay-doc.exe (93 kb), or
sf-roleplay-pdf.exe
(312 kb); 29 pp.
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introduction / course outline / course
comparison / open letter
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