WHO'S REALLY RUNNING YOUR LIFE?
 Free Your Self from Custody, and Guard Your Kids

Second Edition (9/03)

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        This Project 1 guidebook combines and integrates all key Web pages for this keystone co-parent project: (a) assess for significant false-self dominance and related wounds, and (b) evolve an effective personal recovery plan. From our recent divorce rate and other social problems, it appears that well over half of U.S. co-parents have significant inner wounds and unawarenesses - and don't know it.

        This reference book is a convenient resource for studying and using the personality-subself concept that underlies all 12 co-parent Projects in this nonprofit divorce-prevention site. It is a clear, practical explanation and experience-based resource for answering questions like these:

• What is false-self dominance, and how does it happen?

• What are subselves, false selves, and my "inner family"?

• What does false-self dominance mean to me, my loved ones, and descendants?

• How can I assess whether I or another person has significant false-self wounding?

• What does false-self wounding look like in a typical family?

• How can people heal these wounds, and typically what happens when they do?

• Where can I find more information on this?

This is the first guidebook of a series that integrates most of the 150+ articles and worksheets in this non-profit educational Web site. The book is for anyone wanting to improve their lives and relationships, not just people in stepfamilies. 

Table of Contents

Preface..................................................................................	9
Acknowledgements ................................................................	13
Introduction ...........................................................................	15
PART 1 - Your Inner Family	27
1) Our false-self legacy ........................................................	29
2) Your many-sided personltiy..............................................	38
3) Meet your inner family .....................................................	53
4) The effects of false-self dominance ....................................	85
PART 2 - Recovery	109
5) Overview: recovery from false-self wounds..........................	111
6) Recovery: inner-family (parts) work ....................................	159
7) Basic parts-work techniques ...........................................	215
8) Special parts-work techniques ............................................	237
9) Typical recovery phases, steps, and results .....................	279
PART 3 - Wound-assessment Worksheets	305
A) 28 Traits of high-nurturance families ...................................	311
B) Behavioral traits of wounded people...................................	323
C) Scan Your family tree for clues ........................................	332
D) Traits of high-nurturance group members.............................	340
Worksheets E-J): premises and directions ..............................	344
E) Symptoms of false-self dominance ...................................	347
F) Symptoms of excessive shame and guilt...........................	352
G) Symptoms of excessive fears..........................................	359
H) Symptoms of excessive dis/trust ......................................	365
I ) Symptoms of reality distortion.........................................	369
J) Symptoms of an Inability to bond or love..........................	374
K) Symptoms of codependence...........................	379
10) Using Your Assessment results.........................................	386
11) Summing up, and next steps ............................................	402
PART 4 - Resources	411
The Internet as a recovery resource .......................................	413
A Bill of Personal Rights .........................................................	419
The 12 Steps for recoverers ..................................................	426
Selected inspirations ..............................................................	432
Selected readings .................................................................	441
Index ....................................................................................	453

      I'd value any questions you have about the book or feedback on it, Project 1, and/or this non-profit educational Web site. I hope you find it clear, inspiring, and useful! Note that one of the re/marriage-prep course modules explores this vital wound-recovery project. Option - for more perspective, see this Web slide presentation on the [wounds + unawareness] cycle that silently stresses many families like yours, and our society.

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