Table of Contents

 WHO'S REALLY RUNNING YOUR LIFE?
 Free Your Self from Custody, and Guard Your Kids

Second Edition (9/03)

By Peter Gerlach, MSW

available summer, 2003

colorbar

  • home > site overview > site map or directory > Q&A, Solutions article, guidebooks, or other page > here

        This Project 1 guidebook combines and integrates all key Web pages for this keystone co-parent project: (a) assess for significant false-self dominance and related wounds, and (b) evolve an effective personal recovery plan. From our recent divorce rate and other social problems, it appears that well over half of U.S. co-parents have significant inner wounds and unawarenesses - and don't know it.

        This reference book is a convenient resource for studying and using the personality-subself concept that underlies all 12 co-parent Projects in this nonprofit divorce-prevention site. It is a clear, practical explanation and experience-based resource for answering questions like these:

  • What is false-self dominance, and how does it happen?

  • What are subselves, false selves, and my "inner family"?

  • What does false-self dominance mean to me, my loved ones, and descendants?

  • How can I assess whether I or another person has significant false-self wounding?

  • What does false-self wounding look like in a typical family?

  • How can people heal these wounds, and typically what happens when they do?

  • Where can I find more information on this?

This is the first guidebook of a series that integrates most of the 150+ articles and worksheets in this non-profit educational Web site. The book is for anyone wanting to improve their lives and relationships, not just people in stepfamilies. 


 Table of Contents

Preface..................................................................................

9

Acknowledgements ................................................................

13

Introduction ...........................................................................

15

PART 1 - Your Inner Family

27

1) Our false-self legacy ........................................................

29

2) Your many-sided personltiy..............................................

38

3) Meet your inner family .....................................................

53

4) The effects of false-self dominance ....................................

85

PART 2 - Recovery

109

5) Overview: recovery from false-self wounds..........................

111

6) Recovery: inner-family (parts) work ....................................

159

7) Basic parts-work techniques ...........................................

 215

8) Special parts-work techniques ............................................

237

9) Typical recovery phases, steps, and results .....................

279

PART 3 - Wound-assessment Worksheets

305

A) 28 Traits of high-nurturance families ...................................

311

B) Behavioral traits of wounded people...................................

323

C) Scan Your family tree for clues ........................................

332

D) Traits of high-nurturance group members.............................

340

Worksheets E-J): premises and directions ..............................

344

E) Symptoms of false-self dominance ...................................

347

F) Symptoms of excessive shame and guilt...........................

352

G) Symptoms of excessive fears..........................................

359

H) Symptoms of excessive dis/trust ......................................

365

I ) Symptoms of reality distortion.........................................

369

J) Symptoms of an Inability to bond or love..........................

374

K) Symptoms of codependence...........................

379

10) Using Your Assessment results.........................................

386

11) Summing up, and next steps ............................................

402

PART 4 - Resources

411

The Internet as a recovery resource .......................................

413

A Bill of Personal Rights .........................................................

419

The 12 Steps for recoverers ..................................................

426

Selected inspirations ..............................................................

432

Selected readings .................................................................

441

Index ....................................................................................

453

      I'd value any questions you have about the book or feedback on it, Project 1, and/or this non-profit educational Web site. I hope you find it clear, inspiring, and useful! Note that one of the re/marriage-prep course modules explores this vital wound-recovery project. Option - for more perspective, see this Web slide presentation on the [wounds + unawareness] cycle that silently stresses many families like yours, and our society.

<<  Prior page  /  Add to favorites  /  Print page  /  Email this page's address >>

colorbar

 home  /  site overview  /  directory  /  site map  /  Q&A  /  quizzes  /  solutions  /  site search  /  glossary

  research  /  free course  /  guidebooks  NEW  forums resources  /  feedback  and/or  subscribe  * copyright info

Updated  August 04, 2008