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This
research-based Web site exists to...
-
motivate people to stop the toxic [wounds + unawareness]
-
improve the
of typical
families, and...
-
reduce epidemic American
divorce.
This
article is one of a series on
professional counseling, coaching, and therapy with
(a) these families, and with (b) typical
of childhood
and trauma.
In
these articles, "co-parent" means any part-time or full-time caregiving adult in
a divorcing family or stepfamily. The "/" in re/marriage and re/divorce notes it
may be a stepparent's first union. These articles for professionals are under construction.
Before
continuing, pause and reflect - why are you reading this article?
What do you
To get the most
from this article, first study...
-
This introduction
for human-service professionals, these basic
premises, and this overview of the clinical
model proposed here;
-
This perspective on
family systems;
-
This perspective on Erik Erikson's
stages of human development, and these
developmental needs of typical minor
kids;
-
This scheme proposing
traits of typical high-nurturance
families;
-
These introductory slide presentations*
on...
-
normal
personality subselves, false-self wounds, and grown Wounded
Children (GWCs);
-
the [wounds + unawareness]
cycle that I believe is
silently degrading our families and culture, and...
-
true (vs. pseudo) personal
recovery from these wounds.
-
These common
questions (FAQ) about personality subselves;
-
this
introduction to a series of articles outlining effective
("Parts work"),
-
this real example
of how false-self wounds were affecting a typical committed stepfamily,
and...
-
this research
summary and unsolicited
testimony, and scan this
index of Project-1 resources.
*
If you have trouble viewing the slides, see
Perspective
A core premise in this clinical model and* nonprofit Web site is that
normal
personalities are dynamic systems of semi-independent, interactive subselves or "parts"
that conform to the principles of family-systems therapy. To survive
families, children automatically evolve three or four
including a talented
resident personality leader - the true Self. Depending on many environmental and genetic factors, such
kids are often directed by inner children ("Vulnerable subselves") and their
Guardian subselves - a "false self." These reactive personality parts
distrust or ignore (disable) the true Self, and cause the growing child's
thoughts, emotions, and behaviors - specially in stressful situations.
Typical adults ruled by a well-meaning, short-sighted false self
or GWCs") develop up to five related psychological
"wounds" - excessive shame and guilts, excessive fears and/or reality
distortions, significant trust imbalances, and possibly an inability to bond
and exchange real love - Reactive Attachment Disorder (RAD).
Adults whose personality is guided by their Self (capital "S") or a "false
self" display characteristic behaviors.
This allows a knowledgeable person to assess for significant false-self
wounding, and the need for personal wound recovery (Project 1 here). Adults
and kids often ruled by false-selves usually promote and live in
low-nurturance homes, which causes mosaics of interactive surface
role and relationship problems.
Assessment
Intervention Options
Recap
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The Web address of this article is
http://sfhelp.org/etx/5a_partswork.htm