About Effective Parenting Agreements

        Most divorcing parents negotiate a custody agreement and a legal agreement documenting which parent does what, when, and how, for their dependent kids. The documents usually specify agreements about child visitations, holidays, education, child support, health care, insurance, and related topics. Parenting agreements range from consistently useful to major sources of ongoing conflict in and between co-parenting homes. Few such agreements anticipate the values, needs, and roles of any future stepparent/s.

        Reliance on these legal agreements testifies to ex mates' inability to communicate and problem-solve effectively as co-parenting teammates. Creating an agreement without mutual commitment to reduce these nine common co-parenting barriers promotes ongoing future strife. Most family-law attorneys, domestic-court judges, professional mediators, clergy, and family therapists are unaware of these barriers and what to do about them - so their well-meant advice is often ineffective or even harmful.

        Once co-parents become clear on their mix of barriers, they can commit to proactively reducing each of them and negotiating a truly effective parenting agreement - including the roles and responsibilities of current or future step-parents. Co-parent Project 10 and its guidebook offer practical options for evolving co-parental teamwork after divorce and later re/marriage.

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