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How would you describe power to a pre-teen? One answer is "It is energy to change or create things." So a power struggle is an open or subtle contest to see who is most able to "get their way" (win) in a dispute. This can harm relationships and self-esteems if it translates to "Who is better / stronger / smarter - you or me?" This combative attitude promotes winners and losers, which can cause resentment, hurt, anger, guilt, and shame in the "loser" - specially if s/he is an unrecovering Grown Wounded Child (GWC). Shame-based ("egotistical") and fear-based people often initiate power struggles to "prove" to them-selves and others that they are competent, worthy, independent (and may-be superior) people. Others do this to control (manipulate) others to do what they want. A better alternative is win-win problem solving, where each person strives to learn and fill everyone's primary needs equally, without resentment. In some values conflicts, respectfully agreeing to disagree is the best option. People who aren't able to choose these options are probably dominated by a false self. Project 1 here aims to help such people safely free their true Self to guide their other personality subselves. Project 2 helps them to learn awareness and effective problem-solving skills. GWC slides / Project 1 index / Project 2 index / exercise / close |
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