Summary: Effective Assertion Steps

        Assertion  is one of seven learnable Project-2 communication skills. It is declaring what you feel or need in a way children and other adults can really hear you. Three kinds of assertion are preventive, confrontive, and "dodge-proof" praise. Alternatives are avoidance, submission, and aggression. Key steps to effective assertions are:

1) Put your true Self in charge

2) If you feel  "=/=" and clear on your personal Rights, then...

3) Dig down to primary needs; and state your request or demand clearly and directly, expecting resistances. If you feel 1-up or 1-down, abort your assertion or lower your expectations.

4)  Listen empathically to each resistance, then restate your need or opinion firmly and briefly.

5) Repeat asserting and listening until you fill your need/s, run out of time, or change goals; and...

6) Option: at the end, appreciate yourself and your partner/s!

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