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Recently, millions of average U.S. stepfamily mates have re/divorced psychologically or legally. One reason is needy, unaware co-parents re/mar-rying an alluring partner with well-hidden psychological burdens and/or with troubled, unaware ex mate/s and existing children. One or more of these people have a mix of psychological wounds + blocked or incomplete grief from prior losses + ineffective communication skills + undeveloped relationship skills + unawareness and ignorance. Usually, courtship neediness, distor-tions, and "good behavior" mask or minimize these major problems - or courting adults don't want to acknowledge these deficits and what they mean: high odds of eventual re/divorce. Wounded, needy adults dazed by new romantic love are at high risk of ignoring, minimizing, or denying these hazards and re/wedding "anyway." Few supporters or officiating clergy are aware of these problems or how to assess for them. Even if fiancés choose the right people (with few of these problems), wounds + ignorance may cause them to commit at the wrong time, for the wrong reasons. Projects 1-7 offer courting co-parents a way to assess whether they're making three wise commitment choices for themselves and any dependents. The guidebook for these vital projects is Stepfamily Courtship. For more detail on making wise courtship-commitment choices, see Project 7. |
Courtship Choice #1 - Commit to the