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Do you know someone who approaches most relationships as compe-titions - i.e. whose self-respect depends on being "the best" and/or "better" than (superior to) other people in general, or in some role/s? Such people are often dominated by a well-meaning Competitor personality subself. Their attitude and behaviors usually promote conflict, defensiveness, shame, hurt, distrust, anxiety, avoidances, and resentments in others. The Competitor is usually devoted to fiercely protecting the Shamed Child subself by constantly proving and demonstrating "I'm the best" (and/or "I'm better than you!") This Guardian subself may work with others like the Entitled One (" I deserve to be recognized as superior!"); the Egotist / Narcissist, ("I am superior, and my needs are more important than other peoples'"); the Magician (who justifies offensive aggressive, manipulative behaviors); the Controller, who seeks to get others to do what s/he wants; the Warrior / Amazon, the Inner Critic ("You're such a loser!") and the Perfectionist ("You could have done it better!"). Overactive Guardian subselves like these haven't learned to respect and trust the wise leadership of the resident true Self and other competent Regular subselves. Project 1 in this nonprofit site offers practical ways to harmonize your "inner family" of subselves, and reduce "false self" wounds over time. As this hap-pens, a compulsion to be the best shifts to striving to be the best I can be. detail / slides / Project-1 guidebook & links / skeptical? / Q&A / close |
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