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Mythology describes Narcissus falling in love with his beautiful image in a pool. An egotist is someone who is "self-centered" and has an exaggerated view of her or his worth and talents compared to others. Some wounded people can have an over-active Guardian subself which may be called the Egotist / Narcissist . S/He causes such people to be "full of themselves," have a "swelled head," and ignore or discount the needs, feelings, opinions, and worth of other people. Their behavior inherently broadcasts "I'm 1-up" (superior) messages, and rarely allows a genuine two-person "awareness bubble." This well-meaning personality subself may team up with a Selfish Child ("Fill my needs now!"), an Entitled One, Aggressive Child; a Competitor, who ceaselessly strives to "be better" than other people; and/or a Judge, who's specialty is criticizing other people's character, talents, goals, or achievements. All these make effective communication and balanced relationships difficult with an "ego-driven" (wounded) person. If confronted with these traits, a Magician subself can provide convincing reasons they aren't true, and/or that it's the other person's misperception or fault. A typical overactive Egotist / Narcissist subself strives tirelessly to protect one or more Shamed subselves from experiencing the awful certainty that they're worthless, disgusting, inept, and unlovable. The Anxious Child, Abandoned Child, and Catas-trophizer, are convinced if other people really knew how despicable the person was, they'd scorn, reject and abandon him or her - just as early caregivers did in real life. Alternatively, shame-based parents' subselves over-praised their young child, set few limits, and didn't encourage and model genuine humility and respect for other people's needs, feelings, rights, dignity, and worth. Effective recovery from false-self wounds (Project 1) evolves healthier ways to protect Inner Kids from excessive shame, guilt, and fears - partly by encouraging Guardians like the Egotist / Narcissist to trust the true Self, Higher Power, and healthy other people, and relax. As this happens, an "egotistical" person becomes notably more empathic and aware of others, and more considerate and supportive in their relationships. detail / slides / Project-1 guidebook & links / skeptical? / Q&A / close |
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