|
Lonely describes feeling isolated and longing for comforting human com-panionship. Needy means having significant local and/or chronic discomforts. Have you ever felt really lonely and/or needy? Do you know a "high mainten-ance" person who seems dominated by these traits? Such people may be controlled by a common young personality subself who causes these normal human feelings. Excessive loneliness and/or neediness may mean that the person is a wounded survivor of a low-nurturance childhood, and has a disabled true Self. Criticizing wounded people for excessive personality traits ("Jenny is just too needy and childish. She needs to grow up!") is unrealistic and unfair, for they're unaware of their dominant, disorganized subselves and how to comfort and harmonize them. Often the young Lonely / Needy subself is activated by a Shamed Child, Lost Child, Scared Child, and/or a Guilty Child, and their devoted Guardian sub-selves. These inner kids often don't trust their resident Regular subselves to reliably care for and protect them, so they urge their host person to depend on and expect other people to do that. Project 1 in this nonprofit Web site offers practical ways to assess for "false self" wounds, fill the needs of over-active subselves, and grow "inner-family" harmony and teamwork under the wise guidance of the resident true Self. more detail / slides / Project-1 guidebook and links / Q&A / close |
About the