SITE MAP Links to 150+ articles, worksheets, quizzes, answers, projects, solutions, and resources By Peter K. Gerlach, MSW:

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The Web address of this article is http://sfhelp.org/site/map.htm

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        Almost half of recent U.S. first-marriages have ended legally. Uncounted millions more end psychologically. Researchers propose that a higher percentage of U.S. remarriages fail legally, and millions more endure daily dissatisfaction and stress. My full-time research since 1979 suggests five combined reasons for this tragic epidemic:

• mates' psychological wounds from a low-nurturance childhood, plus...

• widespread unawareness of key family, parenting, communication, grieving, and relationship basics, plus...

• incomplete or blocked grief in wounded parents and kids. These three stressors combine to promote...

• unaware, wounded, needy couples choosing the wrong people to commit to, for the wrong reasons, at the wrong time; who soon encountering a mix of alien problems, and discover...

• little or no effective support in local communities and the media.

        The good news: once aware of these five hazards, mates can team up on 12 projects to overcome them and guard themselves and their dependent kids from probable divorce trauma. This nonprofit site is organized around these 12 Projects. It offers clear, realistic, usable information about low-nurturance-family realities, roles, relationships, problems, and solutions, based on 29 years' professional research.

        These 150+ Web articles and worksheets aim to promote (a) breaking the toxic [wounds + unawareness] cycle, (b) long-term growth of high-nurturance family relationships, and (c) reduce rampant U.S. divorce trauma. 

        These articles are written for...

• survivors of low-nurturance childhoods (Grown Wounded Children - GWCs)

• troubled and divorcing mates and parents,

• courting and committed stepfamily co-parents and kin, and...

• human-service professionals supporting these people and their families.

        Any adult having chronic life problems can probably profit from Projects 1, 2, 5, and 12 below.

 To get the most from this site, first read this brief introduction.

  Site Contents

      For a quick orientation, see the site overview and return. Note that the key articles in this non-profit divorce-prevention Web site are integrated in a series of guidebooks for co-parents and supporters.

Links by TOPIC	Links by 12 Family PROJECT
Questions typical  adults should ask  (with answers) Communication Co-parenting Courtship and marriage Ex mates Healthy grieving Relatives Relationship basics Stepfamily basics Solutions Special stepfamily situations Stepparents and stepkids	Seven Courtship Projects ... 1)  Assess for six psychological wounds, and reduce them 2)  Learn and use seven communication skills 3)  Accept your stepfamily identity, learn what it means,      and resolve membership conflicts 4)  Convert ~60 stepfamily myths into realistic expectations 5)  Learn good-grief basics and forge a pro-grief family (identify and finish any incomplete grief) 6)  (a) Evolve and use a stepfamily mission statement, (b) learn kids special needs, and (c) negotiate co-parent "job descriptions" 7)  Make three wise courtship commitment choices     Free remarriage-preparation course on Projects 1-7   Five Ongoing Post-wedding Projects ... 8)  Build a flourishing marriage together 9)  Merge three or more multi-generational biofamilies, and      resolve many conflicts over four or more years 10)  Overcome up to nine barriers to becoming an effective co-       parenting team 11a)  Evolve an effective family support network, and use it!   11b)  Assess and celebrate your family strengths! 12)  Help each other stay balanced, and enjoy this complex, challenging process!
Resources
Web links Selected readings Glossary / Terms Downloads Site search Support-group guide

Stepfamily Courtship - make 3 Wise Re/marriage Choices Guidebook for Projects 1-7

Build a High-nurturance Stepfamily Guidebook for Projects 8-12

Four other guidebooks integrate the key articles in this site

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Updated  May 05, 2008