12 Co-parent Projects for Building a High-nurturance Family

Links to the Worksheets,
Quizzes, and Checklists in
each Family Project

By Peter K. Gerlach, MSW

colorbar.gif

  • home > site overview > site map, directory, or search > Q&A, Solutions article, or other page > here 

The Web address of this article is http://sfhelp.org/site/worksheets.htm

        Clicking links below will open a full window or an informational popup, so please turn off your brow-ser's popup blocker or allow popups from this nonprofit Web site.

        This is one of over 150 articles focused on healing psychological wounds, building high-nurtur-ance family relationships, breaking the [wounds + unawareness] cycle, and preventing divorce. This intro-duction describes the Web site's purpose and the best ways to use its resources. Each article is part of a mosaic of ideas, so the more you read, the more sense they'll all make. These articles augment, vs. re-place, other qualified professional help.

        Before continuing, reflect: why are you reading this - what do you need?

+ + +

        The content of this extensive, research-based, nonprofit educational site for lay and professional visitors is a rich combination of interlinked articles + worksheets, quizzes, and checklists + resource summaries. Many articles include awareness-raising "reality checks" to help focus you on how you feel about the ideas being proposed.

        This page summarizes and links to all the discrete worksheets, inventories, quizzes, and checklists in the site, organized by each of the 12 co-parent Projects. Unless you seek to profit from these materials, you're welcome to download and use them at no charge, as long as you credit me and this site.

        These worksheets, practice exercises, and checklists include directions and suggestions, and most have suggestions for "scoring." I encourage you to use these to raise your awareness, rather than to compare yourself to some norm or compete with someone else. Some worksheets apply to more than one Project. You can also link to these materials from the link-index for each Project.

Project  2     4     7   8   9  10   11  12

        The worksheets under the starred headers apply to any family, not just stepfamilies

base address: http://sfhelp.org/

Worksheet / Checklist  Title

  PROJECT 1 - Assess and Reduce False-self Wounds

basics/health.htm  (2 pages)

30 traits of a high-nurturance family

01/co-dep.htm  (2 pages)

Checklist: Am I or my partner a "co-dependent" (relationship addict)?

basics/hi-n-org.htm

Premises about, and 30 traits of, high-nurturance organizations.

01/w1-gwctraits.htm (2 pages)

1) Behavioral traits of false-self wounds

01/w2-f-traits.htm (2 pages)

2) 29 Traits of High-nurturance families

01/w3-f-tree.htm  (2 pages)

3): Assess your family tree for wounded ancestors

01/w4-grouptraits.htm

4) Typical traits of high and low-nurturance group members.

basics/hi-n-org.htm

5) 30 traits of typical high-nurturance organizations

01/false-self.htm  

6) Behavioral traits of living under the control of a "false self"

Rx/wounds/shame.htm  (2 pages)

7) Behavioral symptoms of excessive shame 

Rx/wounds/fears.htm   (2 pages)

8) Behavioral symptoms of excessive fears (anxieties)

Rx/wounds/distortions.htm

9) Behavioral symptoms of excessive reality distortions

01/dis_trust.htm

10) Behavioral symptoms of excessive trust and distrust

Rx/wounds/bonding.htm  (2 pages)

11) Behavioral traits of being unable to bond and exchange love

01/co-dep.htm  (2 pages)

12) Behavioral traits of co-dependence (relationship addiction)

01/dx-results.htm

Understanding your results from assessing for false-self wounds

  PROJECT 2 - Effective Communication Basics and Skills

basics/quiz_cx.htm

A quiz on effective-communication basics

02/assert-profile.htm

A profile of your personal assertion style

02/blocks.htm (2 pages)

30 communication blocks, and options for resolving them

02/checklist.htm

41 factors for improving family problem-solving.

02/phrases.htm

Sample questions and phrases that promote effective communications.

02/strengths.htm

A personal communication-strengths inventory

02/fuzzy1-wks.htm (2 pages)

Worksheet and article: are you a "fuzzy thinker"?

02/I-msg-wks.htm

A worksheet for devising effective "I"-message assertions

02/listen-inventory.htm

Evaluate how effective a listener you are (or someone else is)

02/meta-wks.htm

"Metatalk" communication-skill guidelines and examples

02/ps-inventory.htm

Worksheet - constructive and destructive problem-solving traits

PROJECT 3 - Accept Your Stepfamily Identity and What it Means

03/identity-wks.htm

Discover who accepts your identity as a stepfamily.

PROJECT 4 - Agree on Who Belongs to Your Stepfamily, and Form Realistic Expectations

04/myths.htm

60 common stepfamily myths and realities

04/60expect1.htm  (2 pages)

60 common stepfamily expectations

  PROJECT 5 - Evolve a Healthy Family Grieving Policy, and Free any Blocked Grief

basics/quiz_grief.htm

A quiz on "good-grief" basics

05/abstract-wks

Intangible losses from divorce, remarriage, and/or cohabiting.

05/physical-wks.htm

tangible losses from divorce, remarriage, and/or cohabiting

05/values_wks.htm

A grief values-clarification worksheet.

PROJECT 7 (stepfamily couples) - Make Three Wise Courtship Decisions

07/quiz_persons.htm

How much do you know about personalities and relationships?

07/courtship-qs.htm

A courtship (pre-remarriage) questionnaire

07/danger.htmtm  (2 pages)

16 common pre-re/marriage danger signs

07/divorce_rcvry_wks.htm

Checklist: symptoms of an "unfinished" divorce

07/rt-co-p.htm

Am I committing to the right co-parents?

07/rt-partner.htm

Am I re/marrying the right partner?

07/rt-reasons.htm

Are we re/marrying for the right reasons?

07/rt-stepkid.htm  (2 pages)

Am I committing to the right stepkids?

07/rt-time.htm    (p. 1 of 4)

Is it the right time to remarry? Individual co-parent factors.

07/rt-time2.htm  (p. 2 of 4)

Are all our stepfamily co-parents ready for a re/marriage?

07/rt-time3.htm  (p. 3 of 4)

Courting-couple factors, and all co-parents together.

07/rt-time4.htm  (p. 4 of 4)

Is each stepchild ready for parental re/marriage?

07/strnx1-individual.htm (p. 2 of 11)

Inventory: our stepfamily co-parents' strengths as persons.

07/strnx2-cpls.htm  (p. 3 of 11)

Inventory: our co-parents' strengths as couples

07/strnx3-co-p.htm  (pp. 4-5 of 11)

Inventory: our co-parents' general strengths as nurturers

07/strnx5-sf-co-p.htm (pp. 6-7 of 11)

Inventory: our co-parents' strengths as stepchild nurturers

07/strnx7-fam.htm   (p. 8 of 11)

Inventory: the strengths in and between our co-parenting homes

07/strnx8-all.htm  (pp. 9-10 of 11)

Inventory: our extended-stepfamily's general human strengths.

07/strnx9-all+score.htm  (p. 11 of 11)

Inventory: our extended-stepfamily strengths (concluded); and "scoring" this 11-page strengths inventory.

PROJECT 7 (childless couples) - Make Three Wise Courtship Decisions

07/nc/courtship-qs.htm

A courtship (pre-marriage) questionnaire

07/nc/danger.htm

12 common pre-marriage danger signs

07/nc/rt-partner.htm

Am I marrying the right partner?

07/nc/rt-reasons.htm

Are we re/marrying for the right reasons?

07/nc/rt-time.htm

Is it the right time to marry?

07\nc\strnx-strssrs.htm 

Inventory: our relationship's strengths and stressors - p. 1 of 2

07\nc\strnx-strssrs2.htm

Inventory: our relationship's strengths and stressors - p. 2 of 2

  PROJECT 8 - Co-create a High-nurturance (Re)Marriage, and Keep it Second

08/mrrg-values-wks.htm

Worksheet - special-relationship traits.

08/priority.htm

Worksheet - identify someone's recent life priorities.

08/strnx-strssrs.htm  (2 pages)

Inventory - our relationship's strengths and stressors

08/redivorce1.htm  (4 pages)

29 alternatives to re/divorce

PROJECT 9 - Merge and Stabilize Your Biofamilies, and Solve Many Conflicts

09/change.htm

Manage the pace of changes as you merge your families

09/lc-wksht.htm

A family loyalty-conflict assessment worksheet.

09/merge.htm

16 "things" typical new steppeople must combine and stabilize.

  PROJECT 10 - Evolve a High-nurturance Co-parenting Team Together

basics/attitudes.htm

An "attitude inventory" for co-parents.

10/conception.htm

A worksheet to help make wise conception or adoption decisions

10/co-p-affirmations.htm

Examples of believable self-affirmations for co-parents

10/co-p-goals.htm

A checklist of basic parenting goals, and a definition of "effective" stepfamily co-parent.

10/co-pinv1.htm   (4 pages)

Worksheet for clarifying stepfamily co-parents' responsibilities

10/co-p-traits.htm

Personality traits of effective parents - do they describe you ?

10/co-p-val.htm

Worksheet: our current co-parenting values.

10/discipline-values.htm

Worksheet: Discover your co-parents' child-discipline values

10/kid-needs.htm  (2 pages)

Typical stepkids' 60 concurrent developmental, healing, and adjustment needs

  PROJECT 11 - Evolve an Effective Support Network - and Use It!

11/sg-plan1.htm 

Co-parent support-group goal-setting, guidelines, and topics

11/support-wks1.htm  (2 pages)

Worksheet: Where I stand with 59 inner-personal supports.

  PROJECT 12 - Pace Yourselves, stay Balanced, and Enjoy Nurturing Your Family!

12/blnc1-me-you.htm

 A personal-balance checklist for committed partners

12/blnc3-home.htm

Checklist: How well-balanced is our home (nuclear family)?

12/blnc4-sf.htm

Checklist: How well-balanced is our multi-home nuclear stepfamily?

          Also see these site resources.

+ + +

This link-index was very helpful  somewhat helpful  not helpful   

<<  Prior page  /  Add to favorites  /  Print page  /  Email this article's address  >>

colorbar

 home  /  site overview  /  directory  /  site map  /  Q&A  /  quizzes  /  solutions  /  site search  /  glossary

  research  /  free course  /  guidebooks  NEW  forums resources  /  feedback  and/or  subscribe  * copyright info

Updated October 02, 2008